Lurching in the backcountry of Nursing Leadership

So, been in nursing management for a 5 year stent now after 6 years of bedside nursing. I had a few moments last year where my family life was unstable but I did not let it affect my job performance, duties and responsibilities or so I thought. Nothing documented and definitely would not let anyone see.  I was still receiving rave reviews and raises on the regular.  So I worked until didn’t want to go home which caused more problems at home then I took it back to work with my attitude and character taking few hits here and there, nothing more than a few scratches. Sound like a familiar cycle? 

Well the recent blogs and articles I read up to this point reported as such.  End of 2017, I was preparing to make an exit from leadership with much regret related to the well oiled machine of a department the staff and I had built without sacrificing patient care, but then felt a glimmer of hope.  I thought God had answered my prayers when had opportunity to promote staff to charges. I carefully read the job descriptions as it pertained to our specialty area and was elated at the possibility I could breathe again while still enjoying my career because I would have a little help.  I even asked for two!  Manage 23 clinical staff members in a 30 bay PeriAnesthesia holding area for a large OR. Well, the summary above happened last December 2017 and it’s January 2019, after much false here says and drama never documented or brought to my attention at the relevant times and others “so called” concerns for me I was given the option to step down, but as I’m so valuable I was provided an administrative leave while I find another job within the hospital …why, you ask?  A Millennial-just one ☝️and the dreaded friend co-worker. Setting boundaries was the answer for me, but not for my counterparts.

I guess it was difficult for them to accept that I would be different, more private while trying to be a better leader. The biggest obstacle was time, time to build back trust, time to prove myself, time to rebuild relationships. I was told after very short while I had not progressed, the relationship between my direct supervisor and I was strained. Scrutiny, big brother intimidation and just lack of trust on both sides seemed to be the cause of my demise because I did hound dog the problem, reported every incident as instructed which in turn put the problems at the administrative doorstep. Cue the suspense music…oh the story at times is outrageous, boring, unthinkable and even humorous currently as it progresses.

Any questions, comments, advise please slap on me! I hope writing this blog helps me heal from the aftermath or at least makes someone think twice about if they want to go into management related to choosing the vast facet of elements with an open mind and heart. Hopefully will help my own heart mend, forgive myself as well as others, learn something while giving advice to those seeking leadership roles in the healthcare field of Nursing. There are those who are born constant leaders, those who only swim in it for awhile while others are content never being a chief. I’ve felt all of these, nothing is wrong about any of them, but you just have to find the right fit for YOU! The factor that kept me from jumping was my staff. I can truly say that they are some of the greatest and most giving humans I’ve had the pleasure to know, work beside and lead. One of the most enormous blessings of stepping down as their leader is that I can truly call them friends and shout it from roof top!